On the Eve of Graduation...

At this time tomorrow evening, I will be in the middle of graduation. Yikes!!! There is still so much to do, but luckily, I think I will survive - and hopefully, graduation will go well...I found myself wondering why I ever thought I could handle planning graduation (and why anyone ever agreed to let me plan it when I have no idea what I am doing!). Sigh. Regardless of how qualified I am to plan this event, I am in charge of it, and at least it will soon be over.

Despite the stress it is adding to my week, I am really excited about graduation. I am so proud of my students and they deserve a chance to celebrate with their friends and families.

Last week we had an all-day GED test and four of the thirteen students we sent passed the test. The test was on Thursday, so I wasn't really expecting scores to be posted until Monday, but right before leaving work on Friday I checked my e-mail and had an e-mail from the GED site saying that my scores had been posted. At first, I was confused; but then I remembered that in the fall I had signed one of my students up for the test using my e-mail address since she didn't have one...

Here's a little backstory...This student is a participant in CAP's Healing Rain program (substance abuse recovery). When she took the GED test in October, she passed in every area but math - and she only missed it by two questions. Since then, she had not really pursued studying too much; I think she was really discouraged and felt like she would never get it. Anyway, when we found out we were closing and that we would have this one last GED test I called her and asked her to come up and try for it. So she came and we gave her an OPT (official practice test), but she didn't have the right score. So we gave her another one. She missed it again. We had one last try (there is a silly rule that you can only give the OPT three times in a year) on the morning that we had to send the list of students who were testing in, and thankfully, she made it!

...The e-mail said that my scores were posted online, so I quickly got on the site to look up the score. I cannot tell you all how excited I was when I saw that she had passed!!! I think I may have even yelled...It worked out great too, because I still needed to give her her graduation invitation. I went to Healing Rain and was able to give her the news in person. She was totally shocked! I guess when she heard I was there to see her she thought I had come to tell her she had failed - needless to say, she was excited that I came to tell her the opposite. I feel so blessed that I was able to be with her; it was an experience that just confirmed why I came here in the first place: I came to serve and to share life with these people, and I am so thankful that I am here.

So I guess you can bring on the stress of graduation - it is worth it. Although if you have any spare prayers, please feel free to send a few my direction tomorrow; I can guarantee I can use them!

And on a side note, there has been another major blessing with my work this week. Monday morning I found out that CAP agreed to allow us to stay open until the end of our contract, which means we will be open until June 30th. We will, however, be operating on a smaller level. We can only keep three staff members and we are moving to a smaller classroom. But thankfully we can still serve our students. Next week will continue to be crazy as we keep packing and moving, but it is nice to know I will be able to stay with Adult Ed until the end of June. And I will still be able to participate in WorkFest too - which is awesome (kind of like the best of both worlds).

I'm sure I will have more to say about that transition later, but for now, I need to go to sleep. I have yet to really kick this cold and have not gotten as much sleep as I would like the last few days. And since tomorrow is going to be a busy day, I figure I can use all the energy I can get.

Peace.

Visitors!

This weekend I received two amazing visitors. My sister Bekah and our good friend (and almost sister) Susannah came to visit me - which was just wonderful. Suz flew in from Seattle and Bekah drove down from Chicago (thanks Aunt Vicky and Uncle Chuck for letting her borrow your car!). I was quite excited to have them here with me.

Friday was our last day with students, which was very hard, although it has yet to really sink in. But it made my day a whole lot brighter to know I was going home to hang out with Bekah and Suz.

We went hiking at the Pinnacles on Friday; it was a little chilly, but the sun was out, so I couldn't complain too much. When we were almost to the top we picked up a new friend. We passed a couple on their way down and were greeted by who we thought was their dog. We started walking along, but the dog kept following us. So we stopped and waited for the couple to call their dog, but they never did. We eventually started walking again and the dog just followed along. It ended up sticking with us all the way to the top and when we turned to head down it continued to follow. When we were almost to the bottom we finally checked its tags, thinking that we would finally have cell reception to call its owners. Of course, when we read the tags we learned that Tilly lives next door and likes to hike with strangers. Basically, all of our worrying about this poor dog was for nought (I was already thinking to myself that even though we're not allowed to have pets, maybe it could live in our shed - she was a really sweet dog). Oh well.

Unfortunately, I have been developing a cold for the last week, and it came out in full blast Friday night. We did a little contra dancing Friday night, but most of Saturday was spent sitting around...I just did not have the energy to do a whole lot. We did, at least, go out last night for dinner and drinks, which was fun - although I decided that I'm really not a fan of loud bar bands, especially ones who aren't very good...

This morning we dropped Suz off at the airport, then Bekah and I headed to a Starbucks to have some much needed "sister time." It was great to just sit and chat for a few hours, and thankfully, I'm feeling better today. I actually have energy and I have not been coughing quite as much. Hopefully this cold will disappear quickly!

Children of the Mountains

I am not sure how many of you watched, or even knew about, the 20/20 special that aired last Friday night. It was titled: "A Hidden America: Children of the Mountains." In the special, Diane Sawyer follows four different children and their families as they struggle to pursue their dreams amidst harsh circumstances and dire poverty.

I haven't had a chance to watch the special yet, but from what I have heard it is pretty good. I know too that CAP was listed at the top of their resource list for organizations in the area who are committed to helping those in need - which serves as a great reminder for why I am here.

So if you get a chance, you should check out the special (you can click the title of this post and it should take you directly to the 20/20 webpage where you can view the special online) and see a little bit of what life is like here.

Peace.

One Day at a Time

This has been one week that will, thankfully, soon be over. I feel as if the stress and dread of our center's closing has been weighing down on me all week. I am exhausted.

Each day seems to bring a new challenge - there are new students to tell about our closing and new tasks arising as we try to figure out all that must be done in less than a month. Monday was definitely the hardest day for me. I had to tell two of my favorite students that we were closing. One student had been studying while a few of the other teachers talked about it, so I assumed that she knew. A few minutes later she handed me a valentine that she had made; it was complete with a poem she had written for us. It had nothing to do with the closure, but it made me cry. She just gave me a big hug and told me everything would be okay. Funny thing is that she didn't know yet. When I told her she looked crestfallen. "What will we do?" If only I knew how to answer her...

I've done pretty well the last few days at avoiding crying. Until today. Another one of my students came in and he needed to be told; he went white. He was totally in shock. He asked me a few questions about it, but then just sat. After a bit, he asked me if we got more donations if we could stay open. "I've been coming here for two years. This place is like a home to me. I have three homes: my own home, Wal-Mart (where he works), and here. Now, I'm going to ask my manager and see if there is some way that Wal-Mart can make a big donation." If only it would help...

As sad and as frustrated as I am, please don't worry too much about me. I am doing okay. I have at least had the ability to throw a lot of my time and energy into planning graduation - which I am very excited about! It is going to be Friday the 27th. Hopefully we'll get some graduates to show up. Since the last graduation in May, we have had sixteen students graduate. And with the GED testing coming up next week, I'm hoping we'll have a few more to add to that list. Maybe it's a bit weird to have a graduation in February, but I think our students deserve something - and hey, we have all the caps and gowns, so why not? I just got the invitation printed today, so I'm hoping we can get them mailed out tomorrow.

Between students, closing, testing, and planning I am quite tired. I am really looking forward to the weekend. Tomorrow night I get to go to Knoxville, Tennessee to see the St. Olaf College Choir perform; my housemate Sam was in the choir there and asked if I'd go with her. I wasn't about to turn down good choral music - and we might get to grab some Indian food before the concert (which would be amazing!). I'm not quite sure what my Valentine plans are quite yet, but I don't think I'm supposed to know yet. It's kind of strange having a date for Valentine's Day; I guess I just got used to being alone for it. Not that I'm complaining...because I'm not. I'm very excited - it's just new.

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to all! I hope everyone is doing well. I wish I could give you all hugs, but unfortunately, my arms don't reach that far.

Peace.

All Will Be Well...Someday...

Last Thursday I was given some devastating news. Due to a recent lack in funds from donors, CAP has been forced to close several programs. Unfortunately, one of those programs is mine. As of today, the Adult Learning Center at CAP has thirty days to close.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise that CAP, along with pretty much every other non-profit, has been hit hard by the current economic recession. Back in December, CAP offered all of its employees a voluntary severance package. Eleven individuals chose to accept that offer, however, their vacancies were not enough to keep CAP from having to cut programs. Three programs have been cut - of the three, Adult Ed is the largest.

I understand the reasoning behind CAP's decision to cut our funding. The state of Kentucky is obligated to start a new program in our county - so even though there will be a time of transition, it is not as if our students will be completely abandoned. It is the period of transition, however, that worries me.

I am worried that if some of our students know they will have to wait months for a new center to open, or that they will have to drive thirty to forty minutes to go to another center, that they will just give up. And I hate the thought of that. Some of them are so close - all they need is a few more months and they could potentially earn their GED's.

As it stands right now, we at least convinced the GED examiner to give us an all-day testing session next Thursday for our county, so we are frantically scrambling to get any student who could possibly be ready for the GED tested. Right now we're hoping we'll have around ten (maybe even more), which would be awesome. And I even got permission from my manager today to go ahead and try to plan a graduation ceremony for all of our students who have earned their GED since July. I only need to get one more "go ahead" before I can officially set the date for it. It's not much, but at least it is something small that I can do.

Aside from my students I am also worried about my co-workers. With our program closing, they are without jobs in the worst economic recession since the Great Depression. Some of my co-workers are older and due to health issues are limited in the kind of jobs they might be able to apply for. A few are younger, and while it might be easier for them to get jobs, they also have children at home.

Basically if you have a chance to spare a few prayers it would be greatly appreciated. Please pray for my students, for my co-workers, for CAP, and even for Paul and myself.

With Adult Ed closing, Paul and I will now be searching for new programs. We are frantically grasping at straws to see if there is any possible way that we could be allowed to keep tutoring some students one-on-one, at least part time. We're just not sure if the state will go for it... As far as another program goes, I am currently trying to put off that decision for a few weeks. Right now my goal is to make it through the end of next week - next Friday will be our last day open to students. So as of now, the only plan I have is to volunteer for all of WorkFest (CAP's alternative spring break program - 80 college kids come down each week for three weeks and work on housing projects). WorkFest takes almost the entire month of March, so I will at least be off the hook from making a decision about my future at CAP until April (hopefully).

Needless to say, the last few days have been hard. It didn't help that because of privacy laws (which I think are absolute crap), I was asked not to even mention anything to my housemates. So for four days I kept my mouth shut - even though I desperately wanted to talk to them about it and to tell them why I was grouchy and upset - only to find out yesterday that most of them had found out from various staff members in their departments (staff member who were also supposed to be quiet). Oh well. What's done is done, I guess.

I am trying to remain hopeful; to have the faith that God is completely in control of this situation and to believe that no one involved - regardless of whether they are staff, students, or volunteers - will be left out of God's care and comfort. One of my favorite quotes comes to mind. I may have shared it before, but since it is a good one I'll share it again. It comes from the medieval mystic Saint Julian of Norwich. In one of her revelations, or visions, she is told by Christ that "All will be well, and all manner of things will be made well." T.S. Eliot repeats these words in "Little Gidding," the fourth movement of his poem The Four Quartets. This is the hope that I am holding onto: that somehow all will be made well in this situation. I fully acknowledge that "well" might not look how I want it to look, but I have to believe that it is not only possible, but that it will happen.

Lord, hear my prayer.

Pillows and Snowballs

Tonight we had the perfect end to a pretty great day. I woke up this morning and found out that CAP vehicles were grounded, so I ended up having a snow day. I did, however, do a little bit of work from home; I managed to squeeze a few hours in before getting completely distracted...

Anyway, tonight after devotions, I walked out to the living room and was overcome with the urge to smack Louis with a pillow. And since urges like that should almost always be acted upon, I followed through. Instead of just taking the abuse, Louis retaliated and started hitting me back with the pillow. This sparked an amazing pillow fight as we slowly got Paul, Jenna, Kim, Jenny, Yong, and Liz to join in. Pretty soon the room was filled with flying pillows, wrestling, tickling (which is totally cheating), screaming, and laughing. Somehow our pillow fight lasted about twenty minutes, with a few breaks in between. Don't worry, no one was hurt. I have a slight rug burn from when Paul started dragging me across the floor, but that is about it.

A few memorable moments:

• Kim sitting in a chair, eating ice cream, saying: "Sorry Jess, I'd help you out, but I'm eating ice cream right now."


• Five minutes later, Kim jumping on Louis' back and rallying all the girls to start hitting him with pillows.


• Jenny screaming (it's pretty intense).

After we had caught our breath and declared peace, I decided that we needed to have a snowball fight too. I mean, what is the point of having three inches of snow on the ground if you can't throw it at anyone? So we all changed and trudged outside to start another battle. Unfortunately our snow is a little too powdery, so not good snowball-making snow. Yong cheated by bringing out a dustpan to fling snow at us; luckily, Jenny got it away from him. Near where our driveway had been plowed there were some good clumps, so we eventually started picking those up so we could chuck them at one another. Kim tackled Paul to the ground and we shoved snow in his face. I think I got tackled a few times too. I think the best part was when Liz went down on the ground grabbing her ankle; we all gathered round and were asking if she was okay, when all of a sudden she jumped up and started launching snow. It was great. So between our pillow and snowball fights we all got a pretty good workout tonight.

To finish the night off, Paul made some hot cocoa and we watched a little Faerie Tale Theatre in between our Scrabble game. Like I said, the perfect end to a great snow day!

Twenty-Five Random Things

For those of you on Facebook, you have probably all been tagged or seen the notes that are flying around. I think that I have been tagged in about four or five, and every time I get on Facebook I see that someone new has written their 25 Things list. I have yet to post any notes on Facebook, and I don’t particularly feel the need to start; but for some reason I don’t feel as silly posting the same information on my blog. And, since it is my blog, I think I can be as inconsistent as I like. So here is my list of random facts. Hopefully you will all learn something new and maybe you’ll gain a better understanding of why I am such an odd person…

1. When I was little, every time it snowed a decent amount, I would make a big snowball and stick it in our freezer. I’m not sure if I was worried that I would forget what snow looked like or if I just thought that I would want it in the summer. Regardless of why, I never did anything with it and would throw last year’s snowball out the next year.

2. I have seen almost every single episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation multiple times. After the show ended on TV, my family pulled out the tapes – because, yes, we had taped just about every episode in the eight years the show ran.

3. Despite the fact that I majored in English literature, my favorite books tend to be those written for children.

4. I make funny noises while I am scratching my throat and have been compared both to a pig and a bunny because of it.

5. For years I hated green beans – the very smell nauseated me (even though my parents tell me I used to steal them off of other peoples’ plates). Somehow, in the last year I became okay with them and now kind of like them.

6. I have ridden in an ambulance twice.

7. If I could star in any musical it would be Rodger’s and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. It follows that Cinderella is my favorite Disney princess, my favorite fairy tale, and one of my favorite books is Ella Enchanted (a twist on the Cinderella story).

8. I have had a crush on Christian Bale since I was seven, which is when Newsies came out (1992). (I also had a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas and secretly kept a poster of him under my bed because I was scared my parents wouldn’t approve).

9. Unlike most people, I have a big toe and then four equally sized little toes.

10. While listening to “For Unto Us A Child is Born” on my Amy Grant Home for Christmas cd as a child, I could not decipher the words and was convinced for quite a long time that she sang “-and the god of Mansharee” instead of “and the government shall be upon his shoulders.” Don’t ask (and no, I don’t know who, or what, the god of Mansharee is).

11. Tylenol has betrayed me twice. As a child I believed that Tylenol helped calm upset stomachs; I was quite shocked as a senior in high school to find out it didn’t (thanks for lying to me Mom). I recently learned that most doctors say that Tylenol is almost worthless as a pain killer for adults.

12. For some reason, while growing up, my dad and I always played a game where I tried to poke my finger in his belly button. I still play this game.

13. As a freshman in high school, in Mr. Smythe’s history class, I made a list of fifty life goals. I still have this list and religiously check them off as I complete them. So far I’ve checked off about ten of them (most recently: earn a college degree and visit Victoria, BC). Still to come: fly in a hot air balloon and climb to the top of a mountain.

14. I listen to Christmas music all year long. It makes me happy. (On my iPod I have over twenty-five Christmas albums)

15. Once, when I was cooking, a recipe called for “dash salt,” and I was so confused that I had to call my mom to ask where the dash salt was. She laughed at me.

16. I ended up in Kentucky because I had to tell Dr. Thorpe if anything had stuck out to me while reading Delaying the Real World, and the only program I could remember was CAP because the description reminded me of Catherine Marshall’s book Christy.

17. I like repeats. By this I mean that I love to read the same books over and over, to listen to the same songs (if they are amazing) over and over, and I love to watch the same movies over and over (hence, I can practically quote all of While You Were Sleeping).

18. One of my favorite childhood memories is from a day when I got lost with my friend Christy while our families were cross-country skiing. We were skiing along the wrong trail, but we passed a little waterfall that was fully encased in big-bubbly-looking ice – probably one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. While everyone was worried about us, we made it back to the van and ate our lunches and drank our thermos of cocoa. Eventually our families came back and my sister Emily was grounded for a month (which I kind of enjoyed).

19. I would classify myself as an aspiring pacifist, a recovering tomboy, and a Christian feminist.

20. I enjoy long movies. I can easily sit down and watch a five-hour movie if the story is intriguing enough.

21. I’ve only had three nicknames that have ever stuck: Smidge (since I was little), PaJess (my residents gave me this one when I was a PA), and Princess (don’t ask).

22. From the age of ten to fifteen I secretly wanted to be a wedding coordinator. I even had a notebook filled with ideas for weddings and drawings of dresses.

23. I have a fear of calling people I don’t know. Even if it is just to order pizza or something small and insignificant.

24. When I was four years old I decided I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart, so I went into the backyard and sang a song about it. And that is the beginning of my walk as a Christian.

25. The last time I wet my pants was on Easter when I was five or six; I knew where the big eggs were hidden and I was not about to let anything get in my way.