The Beginning of the End

I don't know about everyone else, but I cannot believe that June is almost over! Which means I have two months to figure out what to do with my life - at least for the next year of it. Yikes!

Today is my second to last day in Adult Ed. It is so weird that after tomorrow I am done here. The last ten months have flown by. I don't have an accurate count, but I have probably seen close to two hundred students in my time here. There have been over fifteen GED graduates since I came. I have proctored hundreds of tests and have made thousands of copies (I am, however, hoping that since I got our program to be more recycling conscious that I have made up a bit for all those trees killed). And tomorrow at 7pm, it is all over.

...

It is odd - I just said goodbye to my friend Kelly who is a volunteer in McCreary County. She leaves Wednesday to head home to Chicago. We had to laugh, because who knew a year ago that we would have both been here at CAP. We met last June when we were both prospective volunteers interviewing with CAP. What is funny is that neither one of us thought the other person was going to actually come and volunteer - but we both did come and we both have loved our time here.

One of the strangest parts of saying goodbye to other volunteers is wondering if I will ever see them again. But, as Paul aptly reminded me, there is always the final reunion (heaven) to look forward to (too bad it will take Catholics a little longer to get there since they have work their way through purgatory first, but I guess that is what they get for believing in it - just kidding).

Anyway, I guess the beginning of the end of my time in Kentucky has started. I also said goodbye to Paul and Dana this weekend. Thankfully I should (hopefully) have a respite from the goodbyes until the end of July when a few more volunteers will bid farewell to CAP. And who knows, maybe I will have a few more answers to my questions of "what's next?" by then.

If you can, I would appreciate prayer for guidance - for me and all the other volunteers who are leaving CAP soon - that we would be open to the paths before us and that we would have confidence to step into our new roles. My former housemate Kim has an interview on Wednesday for a teaching position in Colorado - I am sure she would appreciate prayer for that too! And one last request: I still am not sleeping very well and would like to be. Thank you for your prayers!

I thought I would close this post with a quote that has been staring at me for the last week (it's on my desk at work). It has been a good reminder to keep pushing on each day in Adult Ed.

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small
ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to
sleep in peace." Victor Hugo

Peace.

Goodbyes, Threads, and Sleep Deprivation

For some reason this has been a draining week. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I have spent the majority of this week trying to fill my days. We've had students everyday, but they don't generally come in until the afternoon...which means I have mornings to myself. And even though I have things I should be doing (like applying for a job for next year), I find myself completely unmotivated to do anything productive.

It has also been a lonely week. Jennifer is on vacation and Paul moved to Jackson to do housing, so it has just been Judy and I in the office. With Paul gone, our house has been down one more person, and Kim leaves today. I am not particularly excited about these changes. In the last few months we have lost seven housemates - SEVEN! And while I am thankful for the housemates I still have left, and am excited for our summer together, it is still sad to say goodbye to so many friends in such a short time. Those seven only include my housemates, but there are many other volunteers that I have befriended in the last year who are also leaving or already gone.

I don't like goodbyes. There are just too many of them in life. I am sad to see the end of this season approaching. And I am anxious about the future - I know I shouldn't be. I know that the thread before me has not ended; I just can't see where it is leading me. I suppose that is where faith comes in, right?

So, time for the million dollar question: what's next for me? Who knows...I am looking at doing another year of volunteer service, but am undecided where. I found an organization that I am excited about (Notre Dame Mission Volunteers), and am currently waiting to hear back if there are still open spots. The majority of their programs focus on education - which is what I'm looking for. I could probably choose between continuing in Adult Ed or switching to an in-school position (or at least this is the hope). While they have service sites across the country, the three I am most considering are Baltimore, DC, and Phoenix. But, like I said, I am still waiting to hear back from them, and by next week I could be applying somewhere else. We'll see.

If you catch yourself with nothing to pray about, I would appreciate any prayers for guidance and energy. There are still a few decisions that need to be made about what I will do after June 30th (when Adult Ed closes), on top of deciding what comes next for me. And, unfortunately, I am tired. I have not been sleeping well the last few weeks - maybe the stress is getting to me - and I am finding myself more and more exhausted.

Thanks.

Eve

When we went to the Art Institute I was delighted to find two new pieces that really caught my attention. The first was a painting by Pisarro (at right). I tend to be a sucker for Impressionism, so it wasn't too surprising that this piece drew me in.

The Rodin sculpture, one of Eve, however, caught me off guard. I suppose it was her sense of shame that struck me. I am assuming that Rodin meant for this to be Eve after the fall - perhaps in the first awareness of her nakedness. Her position, her futile attempt to cover and hide herself, is a legacy carried on by many women (and men) today. I think of my own life and how often I try to hide who I am, so I can "fit in" or feel more "normal." But we weren't created to hide ourselves, or to change who we are to fit an "ideal" personality, body type, or whatever else society tries to convince us to conform to. Instead we were created as unique individuals who bear the image of God in a way that no one else can. The grace of the gospel is that despite the effects of the fall and our sin, Christ came to redeem us - to call us out of ourselves in such a way that we might recognize our place in the greater scheme of life.

I think this is a lesson I have been learning this year. In a way this theme has been haunting me, stalking me as I move into different situations. Who would have thought that a year of service would have resulted in teaching me self-confidence, or at least start me on a path to a healthier appreciation of self.

The following quote, in particular, has been following me. I first read it on my friend Sarah's blog (thanks Sarah!), then at WorkFest I came across it again when one of the college groups read it during a devotion. After that I finally had to look it up for myself; it was like an unknown song that was stuck in my head. Since then I have read several blogs and books that remind me of this quote. So here it is, the quote of my year:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson

Chicago!

This past weekend I, along with four of my housemates and Allen, crammed into one car and travelled north to Chicago for a weekend in the big city. I think we have been talking about doing this since Bekah first came to visit me in December - who knows we may have been talking about it since before then.

We ended up leaving Mt. Vernon around 8pm on Thursday night, which was a little later than we'd hoped for, considering the fact that we had a six and a half hour drive ahead of us. Paul stayed awake, however, and we ended up making it to Chicago around 2am with no problems (although we did drive through some awesome lightning storms between Lexington and Louisville).

On our first day, we headed downtown. I was acting as the Chicago tour guide, so we started off at Millennium Park to see the bean. One Chicago site down and the girls were done with sightseeing and were ready for shopping. As they headed toward Michigan Avenue, Paul, Allen, and I walked through the rest of the park and wound up at Buckingham Fountain. Thankfully it was a beautiful day (though a little chilly when the winds picked up - but it's Chicago, so what else would you expect?), so we took a stroll along the lake shore before heading back into the heart of downtown to meet up with the girls. We were also able to take a few minutes of rest and contemplation inside a beautiful old church located on Michigan Avenue.

We all met up for dinner at one of Chicago's most famous pizza parlors for some Chicago deep-dish - and Bekah was able to join us at this point. After dinner, we headed toward the Art Institute to take advantage of their free Friday night admission. We weren't there long enough to see everything, but I saw the entire Impressionism and Modern European exhibits, with a little time to explore a few other exhibits. While I enjoyed seeing a few of my favorite pieces (Monets and Chagal's "White Crucifxion"), I found two new pieces that I really liked: Camille Pisarro's "Rabbit Warren" (painting) and Rodin's "Eve" (sculpture) - perhaps more on these later.

After the Art Institute, we were off to find a bar that had the Laker v. Nuggets game on, so Jenna and Kim could root against one another and cheer for their respective hometowns teams. Sadly for Kim, the Lakers won. But we still had a good time.

Saturday was a little less busy of a day. We all went out to breakfast with Bekah before heading downtown to go see "Mary Poppins." Okay, so I know I just saw it over Easter, but it was really good...and since everyone else (minus Kim) wanted to go see it, I just had to tag along...It was still fun the second time too. This was also the first time Allen had ever seen any version of "Mary Poppins" or any Broadway musical - so it was an important day. After a late dinner we headed over to Navy Pier to watch the fireworks, which is always a good way to spend a summer evening.

One of my favorite times of the weekend was Sunday morning, because we all split up and I got to have a much needed sister date with Bekah. We disappeared in a coffee-shop for a few hours, getting a chance to catch up on each other's lives. While growing up has been great for our relationship - we don't fight nearly as often as we did when we were little - it is sad because now we rarely see each other, and I miss having her around.

As all good things must, the weekend came to a close and it was time to hit the road again. We discovered on our drive back that Indiana's slogan "America's Crossroads" is true; it felt as if every car in America was on I-65S Sunday afternoon - at least while we went through a section that was down to one lane...

I think we are all a little tired from the weekend, but we're recovering and will soon catch up on some sleep (hopefully).

Blessings.

Disaster Relief Follow-Up

CAP was able to put together a video featuring the work we recently did in eastern Kentucky with Disaster Relief. If you want to check it out, click the title of this post - it should take you to CAP's website. The video should appear in the top right corner.

Peace.

Catch-Up

Since it has been a few weeks since my last post, I thought I would have a catch-up post. Here goes...

The Wednesday after I got back from Disaster Relief, about two weeks ago, I received a distressing phone call. Allen, along with Dana and Joe (a new volunteer), were in the hospital with carbon monoxide poisoning. Let's just say that things went wrong with one of their jobs on the last day of disaster relief.

Thankfully, they made it to the hospital and were put on oxygen in time that there shouldn't be any permanent damage. They are all still recovering, however, though each of them has been affected differently. But overall, they are fine. Praise God.

Needless to say, that week did not finish out well for me. Although the weekend almost made up for it.

Allen and I most of the weekend together, which was a lot of fun. We finally made it out to the last waterfall, Princess Falls, in McCreary County (there are five main waterfalls and we have hit the other four since December). We also made a trek out to the Maker's Mark distillery, our first stop on the Bourbon Trail. The tour was neat - we were able to see bourbon made from start to finish. At the end we got a sample; Maker's Mark is very smooth, I recommend it. After Maker's Mark, we headed back so we could make it to contra. It was a nice night for dancing, although both of us were a little tired.

Luckily, we got to relax for most of Sunday and Monday. Other than hiking out to an abandoned fire tower for sunset and doing a little baking, we didn't do a whole lot. Which was a good way to spend Memorial Day weekend.

Things at work have been pretty crazy the last few weeks, but they are finally slowing down. We held what we called a "GED Blitz." Basically we just did a lot of advertising that anyone could come in and take the practice tests for the GED, and if they passed then we could sign them up for the real test. The "blitz" was two weeks ago; since then we have been trying to get everybody ready and all signed up for the test - the first part of which was today! Hopefully everything went well. I brought the paperwork down this morning and everyone was there - always a good sign.

With the last GED test (at least, the last our center will host) taking place this week I have a feeling our student attendance is going to drop. We had two students today. And they both came after 3pm. Here's hoping this isn't the new trend!

Blessings.