I'll Be Home for Christmas

Right now I am only hoping that the end of this song (the "if only in my dreams" part) will not be how I experience my Christmas this year. I am scheduled to fly from Chicago to Portland tomorrow night, but with a prediction of four inches of snow here in Chicago tomorrow night and all the closures at PDX, I am a little anxious.

...........

I left Kentucky early Saturday morning, hitching a ride up to Chicago with my friend Kelly (thanks again!) and have been enjoying a few days with my sister. I cannot believe how cold it is up here!!! When I woke up yesterday morning, my sister informed me that it was -6 outside with a wind chill of -30! Any plans I may have had about going somewhere were completely dismissed as a result of the weather (eek!). Although my sister did drag me out last night to go to the grocery store - she said I had to at least experience weather that cold. To steal an expression from Bekah's roommate Maria, I felt like a sausage. I had quite a few layers on (I think about six) and each time I added another one I felt like I was squeezing myself in - like a sausage. We're heading out to our aunt and uncle's tonight, so here is hoping that I don't freeze to death while waiting for the L.

In my last post I mentioned that I was helping out with the Christmas Box distribution in Rockcastle County last Friday. It truly was a neat experience and I am so glad that I was able to be a part of it. Jenny had organized a Christmas service which included a recitation of the Christmas story by Rich (a short-term volunteer who had been staying with us, along with his wife Barbara) and his grandson - and by recitation, I mean that they recited the entire Christmas story from the book of Luke. It was pretty awesome. But the best part of the day was the distribution. It was almost overwhelming to go down to the gym and see these rows and rows of boxes piled high, and to know that all of these boxes were gifts for needy families given by loving people all around the country. One family had received seventeen boxes!

I spent a little time handing out food vouchers to families; this was a very humbling experience. Here I was doing something so little for families who struggle so greatly and who are in need - all the time knowing that I would have many hot meals during Christmas break with my own family, without ever worrying about where that food would come from. But this was such an encouraging time too. I was surrounded by the proof that there are many people in the world who will reach out to help those in need; I was reminded that I am blessed to work for an organization whose mission is to serve the needy of Appalachia - materially and spiritually.

Isn't that what this season is all about? Jesus came to serve, as we celebrate his birth, it seems fitting that we take the time to serve in our communities.

Before I close, I wanted to share a fun little story. Last Thursday night I cooked dinner and led devotions. In the holiday spirit I decided that we should put on a nativity play as a house. Unfortunately, not everyone was there, but we made do with what we had - and it was a blast. After we finished our play, we watched a clip from A Charlie Brown Christmas. The one where Linus explains the true meaning of Christmas to Charlie Brown. I've included our "cast picture" and our Christmas photo below. I hope you all enjoy and have a very merry Christmas.
Front (l-r): Yong (representing the wise men), Rich (the Archangel Gabriel), Barbara (Elizabeth - Mary's cousin - she has a bowl under her shirt since she was supposed to be pregnant), Jenny (Mary, holding a giant sweet potato which represented baby Jesus), Helen (an angel of the Lord). Back: our friend Steven (a shepherd), me (King Herod), Sharyn (Narrator).

Back (l-r): Rich, Liz, Zaneta, Jenny, Yong, Duane. Middle: Barb, Helen, Sharyn. Front: Paul, Kim, me, Jenna.

Blessings and peace to all.

Christmastime is Here...

Well, it is Christmastime here in Rockcastle County. Every time I go down Main Street I see lights and decorations, I listen to carols, but to be honest I have felt a little left out of the Christmas spirit.

This is the season of Advent, a time of waiting and anticipation for the Christ child and all the hope his coming will bring. And yet, instead of waiting in anticipation I have felt distracted and overwhelmed by all that is happening this season.

Thankfully, I have been very sheltered from the commercialism the season brings. I have barely even been in a store and I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet and I am not really sure that I will get a chance to do any before Christmas (we'll see).

I have, however, been able to see a lot of good things done this Christmas. This week is distribution week for Christmas boxes - a program that CAP runs every year where enitre families are sponsored by people all around the country so that they might have presents to open on Christmas morning. CAP supplements these gifts by providing food vouchers to all families who participate in the program, allowing them a chance to also have a holiday meal. I am excited that I get to help out with Rockcastle County's distribution on Friday. My housemate Jenny has been in charge of organizing it and I know it will be great (although very stressful for her).

Things are continuing well, both at work and in the volunteer house. I can tell though that I am very tired, and even a little homesick - which is weird for me. I suppose part of it may just be the anticipation of knowing that I will soon be home with friends and family. No matter how much I love my new home and new friends, I still miss the old ones and cannot wait to see them.

I know this is kind of a random post - mainly just my rambling thoughts - so thanks for reading.

Peace.

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Run...

Today I did something that I have never done before - something that I never even thought I would ever want to do - today, I ran in a 6K race. So why, when I have always scoffed at the thought of running, would I decide to submit myself (and not only submit myself, but pay $20) to torture?

A couple of months ago, Mt. Vernon held the Bittersweet Festival 5K race and a few volunteers ran in it. After the race I was talking with my friend Allen about running - mostly about why I don't run - and he had asked if anyone else in my family ran, so I told him about how my dad runs three times a week like clockwork and how my sister Emily used to run all the time and how she liked running in races. Shortly after this conversation, I was talking with my sister Bekah about what we wanted to do to remember Emily this year; we were debating going back to Seattle to be with friends and family for the anniversary, but we weren't really sure if that would be the best choice. Then I remembered the announcement for the Jingle Bell 6K on December 6th, only two days before the anniversary. I guess it all just kind of clicked for me, and I knew that I wanted to run for Em.

The month of November was pretty much spent training for this race. Almost every night, Monday through Thursday, Kim, Jenna, Liz, and I would head to the gym. And I would run, or try running, or even just walk. It wasn't always a good workout, and I didn't always run very much or very fast, but nonetheless, I was there. And I made gains too. When I first went I wasn't sure I could run a mile. But then I made it to two miles. And then two and a half. And then three. And then three and a half (there were, however, stints of walking interspersed with the running).

Anyway, last night Bekah flew down from Chicago to run the race and spend the weekend with me. We also had a few volunteers from other houses come over to run too. And this morning we headed down the valley to face our fates...okay, so I was the only one being melodramatic about it all, but it felt like I was facing my fate (I was telling people goodbye and that it had been nice knowing them since I believed that I was going to die while running; I was only mildly kidding when I said this).

The walkers started at 8:30, so we watched them take off and then proceeded to wait until 9:00 for the run to start. This would have been fine it it wasn't literally freezing outside. Right as we took off the snow started falling, and it kept falling for the first half of the race. I love being out in a snowfall - it is so peaceful and enchanting - but running with snow falling straight in my eyes was not so much fun. Needless to say, it was not exactly a promising beginning and I was quickly left behind by all the other CAP runners. By the time I came around the first bend in the road I was trying to remember why I was out here in the freezing cold, running.

But it was through remembering that made the race great. It was as though I could see Emily jumping up and down, cheering me on and telling me how proud she was of me for just trying. And so I kept running; running for Em.

And yet, it was still really hard to keep running. I guess God was watching me run and decided to remind me of a song I haven't sung since working at camp all those years ago because suddenly I had "I can do all things, all things, all things; I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13" running through my head like crazy. As cheesy as it was, it really did help motivate me to keep going and to not give up. And I ran the first half of the race without stopping to walk at all!

Slowly after the turn around my legs started to cramp a bit, so I took a little walking break before trying to return to full speed. Slowing down, however, did not really help; it actually made it harder for me to be motivated to run again. I kept pushing though and was doing alright until I hit the marker for the last mile. It was at about this time that I realized I could not really feel my right foot...not really a good sign. So I stopped and loosened my shoe in case it had been too tight, then kept going. Unfortunately, this didn't really help. By the time I was coming into the last bend of the race, my whole right leg was numb - but I was still running.

Out of the seven of us running (there were more people running in general, but seven of us from CAP), I knew that I was going to be the last to come in. At first, I felt a little self-conscious about it, but when I did come around that last bend someone noticed my pink polka dot hat in the distance and I was cheered in the whole last stretch by about ten people who calling my name and telling me great job and that "Santa would be proud!" It was a beautiful sight/sound and I felt so blessed that I stopped worrying about being last from our group and I almost started crying.

My finishing time was 41:26 - I think that breaks down to about 13 minute miles, or something like that. And hey, for my first race, after only having run for about a month, I am pretty damn proud of that time. I am also very proud of my number - 414 - which is now hanging on my wall.

We shall see where this whole running thing goes. If Mt. Vernon has another small race I may try again. I can't believe I am saying this, but overall, it really was kind of fun. And for now, I plan to keep running on my own.

This one was for you Em. Love you and miss you.

Thanksgiving

I know this is a little belated, but I still want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I know that I have a lot to be thankful for this year, and being in Kentucky is definitely on that list! I hope that everyone had a safe and enjoyable holiday filled with fun, family, and friends.

For the holiday weekend I was able to head up to Chicago, which was a blast! I caught a ride up to Bloomington, Illinois with my housemate Liz, and took a train from there to the windy city, where I was greeted by my sister Bekah (whom I had not seen since the beginning of August, so it was a very welcome reunion!). We spent the majority of our weekend up in Winnetka, Illinois (just north of Chicago) with our aunt, uncle, and cousins - so in many ways, my Thanksgiving felt very "normal," despite the fact that I was on the other side of the country.

Aside from being with family and watching the Ducks beat the Beavers in the Civil War game (the score was 65-38; so much for the "Cinderella" team), the highlight of my holiday weekend was an impromptu adventure I took with Bekah and our cousin Jimmy. Winnetka may seem like an average, semi-boring suburb, but at least it was the filming location of one of the greatest movies of all time: Home Alone. My aunt and uncle actually only live a couple of blocks from the McCallister home - which is awesome! So the day after Thanksgiving, Bekah, Jimmy, and I took a walking tour of Home Alone filming spots. It was great fun, and we weren't the only ones doing it either! When we were a block or two away from the house, we could see a couple taking pictures in front of it too. Our next stop was Hubbard Woods, for the scene where Kevin steals a toothbrush and runs across an ice rink (which was made for the movie) and over the Metra tracks. And after that came the grocery store where Kevin bought waterballoons (although they didn't have any!). We had to drive to the next town over to see the church where Kevin hid in the Nativity scene and made friends with Old Man Marley. So all in all, it was a grand adventure and all three of us realized how completely obsessed we are all with Home Alone (which is fine).

Thanksgiving was my first time out of Kentucky in almost three months, so it was definitely a little weird being away from my new home. My friend Kelly gave me a ride down on Sunday and the closer we got, the more excited I was to be heading back home. It was a slightly sad homecoming, however, seeing as two of my housemates had left. Zaneta, who was a short term volunteer returned home to New York, and Duane, another short term volunteer, had headed south for the winter (although he is coming back in the spring, which is really exciting).

I can't believe it is December already. The time is flying by so fast. I graduated almost six months ago; it is almost 2009; I'm about to turn 23...we live in crazy times.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago during a house meeting we were asked to make a list of ten things we are thankful for. I thought I would share my list in the spirit of Thanksgiving, but know that it does not do justice to the blessings in my life or my thankfulness for all the amazing people I am privileged to know.

1. A loving family

2. Amazing friends who encourage and support me

3. A safe and loving home to come back to every night

4. The beauty of the world around me

5. A God who is bigger than me

6. Something meaningful to do

7. Learning more about people

8. Sunshine

9. Fall

10. Brownies

Peace.

Spelunking!

I am not sure how many of you know this, but Kentucky is actually quite famous for its caves. Mammoth Cave, which is one of the largest cave systems in the world, is located only a few hours from where I live. Apparently the rest of Kentucky has quite a bit of caving as well.

My manager, Jennifer, is an avid caver, and ever since I arrived here she has been talking about putting together a caving trip. Last week she finally got the place and date set, so today I got to go caving! Jennifer planned the trip with Mike Stanfill (the really intense guy who gave me my driving test and my First Aid/CPR training) who is a professional cave rescuer. The cave we went to was called "Sinks of the Roundstone" and is located about twenty minutes away.

I was able to get together a couple volunteers to come with us, so Liz and Zaneta from my house came, and Dana and Allen from McCreary came. Mike also brought along a few of his caving buddies and Jennifer brought her two children.

I know I have been in caves before, but it really just is incredible. It is wild that there is almost a whole other world below us and we never even think about it. After we were a short way in, Mike had us all turn off our lights so we could realize the utter darkness that we were in. All I can say is that I would never want to be lost in a cave without a light!

As we travelled through the cave we got to see a variety of features and experience different kinds of terrain. For the majority of the trip we were able to walk at full height, but there were definitely a few places where we were crawling - or, as I discovered, rolling works too! (it also saved my knees from being killed, and let's face it, rolling is way more fun that crawling). We had to crawl up and through holes, slide down hills of cave mud (which kind of made it like being at a waterslide park, but, again, more fun), climb up hills of cave mud (sometimes an adventure), and we even had to scoot along on our bellies in a few spots. Needless to say, I was a little sore when it was all over, and I'm guessing I'll have a few bruises.

One weird part was there were little bats on the walls of the cave. They are all hibernating right now, so they are just attached to the walls while they sleep. We had to be quiet because if they get woken up they wouldn't have the energy to go back into hibernation and would die. Personally, I was kind of glad that I didn't have to worry about them flying into my face or anything - although it was creepy coming around corners of a narrow passage and having a sleeping bat about two inches from your face.

Overall the trip was a blast! I am so glad that I was able to go and I am already excited about the next trip - which will hopefully happen sometime soon! I think for the next time I might actually try to find a helmet...I didn't hit my head today, but I came close to it a few times!

Parson Brown

I just wanted to share a fun little story with you all...

So tonight as we were driving to the gym we had Christmas music playing on the radio. And just as we drove by the lone house with their Christmas lights already up (!!!) the old school Amy Grant version of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" started playing.

Anyway, as we were walking inside Kim started singing the song to herself and I was laughing because she said the words all jumbled, when she confessed that she didn't know the words. Being the astute Christmas music student that I am I filled in the blanks.

"In the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is Parson Brown. He'll say, 'Are you married?,' we'll say, 'No man! But you can do the job when you're in town...'"

Apparently, both Kim and Jenna did not know what a parson was and had never picked up on the fact that they were talking about marriage. Jenna even thought "Parson Brown" was a shade of brown. Sigh...I would be a little more shocked, but frankly I just found it hilarious.

On Monday we had our monthly staff meeting and I won the staff game this month. I probably only won because it required naming the song title and musical of about nine different songs played - finally a game I am good at! Anyway, because I won I am now in charge of planning the game for next month. Since it is December I was going to have it be Christmas themed, but now I just might have to add a question about good ol' Parson Brown...

"Oh the weather outside is frightful..."

There have been many recent days when I have greatly missed my apartment in Seattle with our lovely little gas fireplace. The weather has indeed turned to winter here and my coat, hat, scarf, and gloves are being employed almost every day!

This weekend I put my weather tolerance to the test when I attended the University of Kentucky versus Vanderbilt University football game with some fellow volunteers. The forecast for Saturday night was low thirties and snow or rain. Thankfully, we did not have either, but it was a very cold night to be outside for a few hours. Jenny was quite afraid that she might lose her toes as a result of our excursion - the question, "I can't feel my toes; can you get frostbite this quickly?" was asked multiple times. Despite Kentucky's pathetic first half, sad loss, and three penalties for roughing the kicker (you'd think they would have learned after one!), the game was fun and completely worth practically freezing.

Sunday morning did bring a little snow, and last night as I was leaving work I was excited to step outside into a world swirling with snow. The ground isn't quite cold enough and the flakes aren't quite big enough to stick yet, but it makes me excited and hopeful for some good snow in the winter ahead of me...It also reminds me how excited I am to receive my long underwear in the mail this week! (Thanks mom!)

The onslaught of winter and snow has gotten me very excited for the coming Christmas season. As many of you may know, I don't really stop listening to Christmas music during the rest of the year...it just gets played a little less and not in its full entirety. But the Christmas music is officially in full swing (I have it on now as I type). This coming weekend we are hoping to get up our Christmas lights and maybe even get the first carton of eggnog of the season. Needless to say, I can't wait. Now all I need to do is find some cinnamon-scented pinecones...

The one unfortunate thing about winter is that we have yet to really fix the heating situation in my room. It still remains about ten degrees colder than the rest of the house. But at least I can be comforted by the fact that I am being energy efficient, and it is forcing me to always layer and add blankets rather than turning up the heat. It is humbling, however, to think that there are many people in my own county who have no heat at all. (Although I am hoping that something will be figured out so I don't have to spend the whole winter freezing!)

Geocaching

I'm sure a few of you already know what this is, but geocaching is a kind of high-tech treasure hunt. To participate you look up the latitude/longitude coordinates for a geocache, and then using a GPS device (or you could be old-fashioned and use a compass) you go and try to find it. A geocache is usually some sort of box or container that holds several items, including a log on which you should document the date and name of the finder.

I remember hearing about different people in Seattle getting into this new activity, but I always thought it sounded kind of lame. A couple of weeks ago, however, I went geocaching for the first time. One of the other programs in CAP was planning a survival retreat and they wanted us to help run a geocaching adventure for them. So one day Ragan (one of the other teachers) and I drove down to Renfro Valley to see if we could find the hidden caches and figure out how to use our GPS. Later that week Ragan, Paul, and I headed out to Camp AJ to plant two caches in the woods and to chart a hiking course for the group to follow.

Well yesterday was the day that we finally got to take the group out. The ladies participating are enrolled in Healing Rain - our substance abuse recovery program. We started out with a brief presentation explaining what geocaching was, since nobody in the group really knew. These ladies had already had quite the week of adventures: they had been camping outside the last two nights (remember when I said winter had already come? Brr!!!), they had learned to rappel the day before, and now we were going to drag them out on a 3.5 mile hike on trail called "No Fat Gap" (it's not a skinny place, it is just so steep at the beginning that if you're not in shape you might pass out from the exertion).

So here I was, out in the middle of the woods, leading a hike with a group of fourteen ladies and my manager following me. All I can say is that it was a blast! I had a good time talking to the ladies along the trail and it was fun to see them trying to figure out the clues we had made up for them (use of English Lit degree # 106: able to make silly rhyming clues to guide those searching for a geocache). And I am the last person to complain about being asked to go hiking for my job. Sigh - if only it would happen every week...

Spending the day with the ladies from Healing Rain was another reminder that things are not always as they seem. Before moving out to Kentucky, I can't say I would have had thought that some of the highlights of my time here would be spending time with women in jail or women who are recovering addicts. And yet these women are kind, loving, and fun to spend time with - and I'm so thankful for my time with them.

Two Months and Counting...

This weekend was my two-month anniversary of being in Kentucky. I honestly cannot believe it has gone by this quickly. I remember sitting next to my dad, watching football the night before I left, trying to get the motivation to pack, and crying because I was terrified to make this move. And yet, here I am. I made it safely and have been blessed beyond what I could have imagined with new friends and experiences.

I have been eyeing a ball of purple yarn that sits on my nightstand. My friend Hayley sent it to me shortly after I arrived here, as a reminder of the "thread" that led me to Kentucky (if this reference makes no sense whatsoever, see my first post "One Chapter Closed"). It is kind of funny looking back now and realizing that all of my fears were in vain. I remarked to someone recently that I feel like I've had one of those "duh" moments, realizing that God really did have a plan all along! I am so thankful that I did not give into my fears and that I followed my thread here. I would have missed out on so many amazing experiences and meeting so many wonderful people - and perhaps even more importantly, I would not have grown as much as I have already in these last two months.

Before leaving the Northwest, Christmas felt like it was years away; now I can't believe that Christmas decorations are going up and that it is just around the corner! And while I'm looking forward to going home for a few weeks, I am already looking forward to coming back too - which is crazy.

I guess my point, aside from saying how glad I am that I am here, is that I could not have made it here by myself. And as thankful as I am for all of the new friends I have been making, I am equally thankful for all of you who got me here. It took a lot of prodding, conversing, encouragement, prayer, and love from all of you before I was willing to step into this chapter of my life; and now that I am here, I am still relying on all of you for the strength to continue. So thank you for everything.

The Pinnacles and Lessons Relearned

I just need to say that today it is raining and it makes me so incredibly happy!!! We do not get a lot of rain here in Kentucky, which is sad, because I have really been missing it. It just doesn't seem like fall when there is no rain...the rain does, however, signal a change in our weather. A few weeks ago we were getting freezing cold weather (we had snow flurries last Monday) but then last week the weather shifted back to the seventies and we have had some beautiful sunny days! The rain should be followed by cold weather again though, so winter is on its way...

Last weekend we were able to take advantage of the warm weather and get outside. Our house travelled south to McCreary County to enjoy a scenic train ride with the volunteers down there. We were in open cars and it was a gorgeous day just to be outside and with friends. After the train ride the volunteers showed us their home and took us to visit Cumberland Falls - also known as the "Niagara of the South."



On Sunday, I was able to convince a few of my housemates to go hiking with me, so we headed out to the Pinnacles for a sunset hike. The pinnacles are located just outside of Berea and I've been hearing about them since I came to Kentucky. The hike isn't long, but it sure is steep in a few spots. The hike was probably no longer than two miles, and when we got to the top we found a nice rock outcropping and we settled in for about an hour and a half until the sun started to drop. We left just before sunset (we wanted to get down the hill before dark).

The other half of this post's title is lessons relearned. Here's why. It relates to my post last week about lessons learned. On Wednesday night I was cooking dinner and - well, let's just say it was not going well. I was attempting to make a casserole, but it wasn't really turning out like a casserole, and the local grocery store did not have artichokes (which the recipe called for). Anyway, I was running around the kitchen trying to figure out what else to put with it because the "casserole" wasn't going to be as filling as it should have been, and my housemates were periodically stopping in and asking if I needed help or anything. In the end, everything turned out fine; at least everyone said they enjoyed dinner. As we were eating dinner and everyone was reassuring me that dinner was fine, it suddenly hit me that I had been so stressed out because I was still trying to make everything perfect. So for devotion I shared about my "lesson learned" last week. The response from my housemates was very encouraging and it reminded me of how blessed I am to live with the people that I do. They are amazing people and I am thankful for each and every one of them!

Another lesson I have been learning is humility. And unfortunately I am learning it in a painful way. I started going to the gym with three other of my housemates this week. Okay, so a little confession...even though I had easy access to the REX centers on-campus throughout college I never once went. I always just felt so intimidated because I assumed everyone else there would know what they were doing and that I would just stick out like a sore thumb. So walking into the gym on Monday night was pretty nerve-racking for me. But luckily, I did it anyway; in fact, I've gone every night this week and I'm really enjoying it! Who would have thought that I would actually have fun at the gym. I just have to boast a little (not that it's really boasting, but for me it is), but I ran two miles last night (the longest I have maybe ever run before) and I ran each of them in eleven minutes! (Be very proud!)

In other news, there were a few more tests this week and I found out the results from GED testing last week. Four out of our five students received their GED, and the one student who did not pass each section only has to raise her math score. I am so proud of them! Two of my students at the jail (including "Diana") and one student from our center received their KEC's this week too! It has been great to celebrate these achievements with them; they are all really excited (and so am I)!

As this week finishes up, I am reminded how grateful I am to be here in this new place, meeting new people and exploring new things. I am excited for the months ahead and the lessons that I know are awaiting me...

Blessings.

Friday Night Lights

Happy Halloween everybody! I'm not sure how many of you actually did anything to celebrate today, but hopefully everyone enjoyed their day.

Here in Mt. Vernon, Halloween was actually celebrated yesterday. The Rockcastle County High School Football team had a big game tonight, so the city moved Halloween to last night. The tradition is for businesses to set up booths on Main Street and all the kids come and trick-or-treat for two hours. I helped run CAP's booth with Liz and Jenny from my house. We had a good time, but we were a little overwhelmed by how many kids there were (the kids had to wear numbers and at one time I saw the number 1,416 - I'm really hoping there weren't that many kids there though!).

Since the city moved a holiday for the football team, we decided that we would go watch the game tonight. The undefeated Rockets were taking on Mercer County High - who are actually a 5A school (Rockcastle is 4A). Within the first ten minutes of the game, the Rockets had scored a touchdown and a field goal. Probably thanks to #22, Casey Hays, who appeared to be the only player on the team who actually did anything. He looked kind of scrawny, but he played offense and defense, and his name was somehow connected to almost every play of the game. By the end we were joking that we could yell, "Go Casey" without knowing who had done what and be accurate 90% of the time. The best part about the Rockets scoring was the fact that they set off these huge fireworks after every score.

The game, however, was not terribly exciting, although they did at least move the ball back and forth. It was not until the fourth quarter when Mercer County finally scored. They got a touchdown but they didn't have a kicker and they failed in their 2-point conversion. They were about to score again right at the end of the fourth quarter, but the Rockets made an interception (Go Casey!) and ran the time down. The final score was 10-6.

After the game was over we realized why small town football games are fun. We looked around the crowd and saw the pastor of the church a few of us have been attending, the music director from the church, and one of the jailers that I work with at the Rock. To celebrate the victory we headed to the local truck stop, however, they did not have the traditional after-football-game-meal that I was hoping for (at least typical for the Soule family): they didn't have milkshakes!!! So there was no french fry dipping in a chocolate milkshake for me last night, but at least the French Toast was good...

A picture from the football game: Me, Jenna, and Jenny.

Learning Boldness

Today our center was closed while we had our monthly staff meeting. It is traditional that one of the teachers will lead staff devotions in the morning to start us all off - and today that was me. I found out late yesterday afternoon that I was going to be leading devotions this morning, so I didn't have a lot of time to prepare; I was also told that I could talk about anything I wanted. But what do you share with a bunch of people who are older (and most likely wiser) than you?

In search of inspiration I flipped open my journal. The last entry I had written caught my eye, and as I read it again I realized that it applied to my work environment in many ways. So, in an effort to share another side of myself, here is what I shared with my staff this morning...

From October 23, 2008
'"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundations of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit..." Ephesians 2:19-22

It's that last verse that really gets me. Why does God want to live inside of me? I know how messed up I am, so why does he even bother? I keep thinking of Dirty* - it doesn't matter how many times I wash, how often I pray, how often I read scripture, or even how often I serve others - I can still clearly see how broken I am, what a failure I am. Every once in awhile I can remember what Kingslove feels like - but it certainly isn't everyday. I'm not even sure how to ask for more of it. And I don't feel like I deserve to ask for more of it. I get so distracted - everyday, every hour, every moment - and I forget about Christ. I am guessing there are days that go by when I am not even thinking about him (which is terrible!).

And yet I know that he doesn't ask me to be perfect. In Hope Lives,** the author brings up Philippians 2:12-13: 'Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.' She goes on to say, 'This isn't up to me. God is working in me, to change me and give me his love of others. I'm not perfect. I have made and will continue to make mistakes. But God is the one at work in me, as I continue to work out my salvation, and he will bless my desire to become more like Christ.'

It's comforting to be reminded that I don't have to have it all figured out, that this is supposed to be a lifelong process. At least I can be honest with myself that I have a very long way to go.

*The references of Dirty and Kingslove are from a children's story that I grew up on. Dirty is a girl who lives with the pigs because she doesn't want to love people; then she meets the king and realizes that she wants to love and be loved by him more than anything, but since she is so dirty she knows it is impossible. She ends up learning that we can't become clean on our own, for it takes Kingslove to make us clean.
**Hope Lives is a study on poverty I have been participating in with a church here in Mt. Vernon.

...

As I read over this entry last night I realized that this relates to my experiences everyday at work. Everyday one of us teachers (and most often it is me) says that we missed an opportunity with a student, or maybe we didn't explain something well, or maybe we're just having an off day and feel like we took it out on someone else. What I need to realize/remember is that this is okay. I don't have to be perfect; not here or in any other part of my life. Without believing this simple truth I have a hard time letting go of each of my mistakes and failures; but I don't need to hold on to them. Yes, I need to continually be striving to become more like Christ as I seek to understand what it means to love and to serve, but there is room for my mistakes and failures. Christ already paid the price for those failures - I don't need to dwell on them, I need to learn from them and move on.

I can't help but think of something one of my choir teachers always used to say in rehearsal. If you're going to make mistakes, make them loud; if you don't know your part and you only sing quietly, your mistakes will never be caught and then they cannot be fixed. It saves everyone time if you're brave enough to try loudly, even if you fail loudly. This also reminds me of a quote from Dietrich Bonhoeffer: "The grace of the Gospel, which is so hard for the pious to understand, confronts us with the truth and says, 'You are a sinner, a great, desperate sinner; now come, as the sinner that you are to the God who loves you. You do not have to go on lying to yourself and others, as if you were without sin; you can dare to be a sinner.'"

No, I don't plan on trying to make mistakes with my students, but I do want to be brave enough to put myself out there so I could make mistakes.

Ironically, I feel a little scared just writing all of this down on a blog that can be accessed and criticized by anyone on the internet. And yet, if I keep all of my thoughts to myself I'm not allowing you all to know me and share in my journey. So hopefully these random musings have allowed you to do just that - and maybe they even made sense along the way.

Thanks for reading. Peace.

Testing and the "Final Frontier"

Well, I have been at work for an hour and the sun is just now coming up. Maybe I haven't mentioned it before but three out of five days I work the opening shift in Adult Ed. This really isn't a problem, it is just something new to get used to; surprisingly, 5:30 am isn't as bad as it sounds (although now that winter weather is setting in, it is getting a little harder to crawl out from under my blankets). And lucky for me, yesterday we figured out why our classroom has been so cold - our vents were closed! (I had the same problem in my room...silly me).

Anyway, I know it has been a while since I last posted, so I just wanted to give a few brief updates.

A few weeks ago I asked for prayer for a few of my students in the jail who were going to be taking their WorkKeys tests. Well, overall things went really well. We had class right before the tests and one of our students, who has a real gift for prayer, prayed for the three ladies who would be testing. It was a pretty phenomenal experience just being there - she prayed for Therese and myself and I was just so truly humbled by her prayer. Anyway, we had one student take the full test and she passed in every area which was great because she had just found out she would be going home in a few days. My one student who was retaking the math portion, unfortunately, did not pass again - but she has not given up and is determined to study even harder and try again (which is awesome!). And finally, "Diana." After the test finished she looked ready to cry; she was positive she had failed. When Ragan walked over and handed her her score, which was passing (!), she burst into tears. It was beautiful. She had told me before about how this class was building her self-confidence, but in that moment you could actually see it washing over her whole person. She finally had a reason to believe that she could do something, and do it well, and I just felt blessed to be there watching.

We'll have more testing with the jail ladies next week, so I'm excited to see what happens next. Tomorrow, however, is the GED testing day for Mt. Vernon. There will be five students from our center taking test over the next two days. They will have three tests tomorrow and two on Thursday. Some of these students I have been working with since I started, and some I only helped sign up for the test, but I am really excited (and nervous) to hear how they all do. So if you have some spare prayers, feel free to say one for these students!

Outside of work, things are still going well. I think we're all settling into our community a little more and are having a blast getting to know one another. Last week we had an epic space journey (aka - Jessica climbed into a box and decided it should be a spaceship and a few of her housemates agreed and we spent a few hours making our spaceship/box really really cool and then had three "flights" into space/down our hallway). It was great...and no, there is nothing wrong with a bunch of recent college grads/young adults playing with boxes; we're just practicing the whole "young at heart" thing. :)


Until the next time, this is Starship Captain Jessica signing off...

Weekends and Festivals

If you are anything like me, perhaps you have been wondering what people do in Kentucky for fun. This will be my attempt to share with you what we, at least the volunteers around here, do for fun since I haven't shared too much about all of that.

Weekend #1: My first weekend here we had an all-volunteer meeting up at Natural Bridge State Park, which is a pretty incredible place. A few of us hiked up to the top to see the natural rock bridge structure that the park takes its name from, and boy was it beautiful! The hike was brutal (mainly because of a little thing called humidity) but rewarding in the end because we could see for miles around. I only wish we would have had more time to hike around another ridge so we could have looked back to see all of the bridge. (This is Zaneta, Terri, Helen, and I on top of Natural Bridge)

After our meeting was over, the majority of us headed out to go camping. This was quite the experience. It was fairly overwhelming because I was pretty much meeting everyone at one time, but trying to get a group of thirty to forty people to go camping is quite a task. Especially when only one person has really had any experience in the area. Eventually, however, it all came together and we headed off to the Red River Gorge where we set up camp.

The next day we went for a hike, which was awesome. The country out here is incredible. Our hike was an adventure in itself since our "guide" decided to bushwack our way through until he found the actual trail we were supposed to take. When we eventually found the river, it looked mighty enticing. We all settled for a break on this huge boulder on the edge of the river, which was perfect for jumping in - so we did. At least a few of us did. All in all it was a great first weekend in Kentucky and really helped me feel more comfortable with the other volunteers and my housemates.

Weekend #2: This weekend was a lot more laidback. I went to Berea for the first time, which is home of Berea College and is the arts and crafts capital of Kentucky. There are lots of fun shops to wander through because of the artisan community - everything here is handmade or handcrafted. It's pretty phenomenal. Berea is also home to the annual "Spoonbread Festival." Since most people from the north have no idea what spoonbread is (or so I'm guessing), I'll explain. Spoonbread is basically undercooked cornbread. I was optimistic when I tried it, but it's just not as good as cooked cornbread. Sigh... After hitting up the festival Jenny, Zaneta, and I (the only ones who went) headed out to Jackson County to visit the volunteer house out there and watch some college football. Unfortunately for us, all the teams we were cheering for lost that day...but it was still fun to watch some football and be with new friends - so all in all, a good day.

Weekend #3: This weekend I got inducted into one of our volunteer duties - grocery shopping. Maybe this is weird, but I have always kind of liked grocery shopping and I really enjoy the whole process of finding the best deal while shopping (last year my roommates would laugh at me because I read the grocery ads religiously and could tell when certain "sales" weren't really sales). Shopping for ten or twelve people, however, is much different than shopping for one. It took us almost two hours to get all of our shopping done - and that was with three of us! But it was still fun; although I did feel a bit like a babysitter when Paul started jumping on the cart and riding it down the aisles...

Shopping, however, was not the highlight of this weekend. That spot was reserved for contra dancing. For anyone not familiar with contra dancing, it is a form of line dancing. I think the best description is if you have seen a dance scene from Pride and Prejudice, or some movie in that genre. Picture that dance and speed it up a bit; now throw in some twangy music and replace the dancers with random old men, a few hippies, and a bunch young adults. That is pretty much contra in a nutshell. And if you have never gone, you should. It is a blast! I learned how to contra last spring at folk life and have been slightly obsessed ever since. Oh good times. A bunch of the volunteers came out for the dancing which only added to the fun.

Weekend #4: This weekend was the Bittersweet Festival in Mt. Vernon. The only actual part of the festival that I saw - or sort of saw - was the Bittersweet 5K which Kim, Jenny, and Jenna (three of my housemates) ran, along with Kelly and Allen from McCreary County (the volunteer house south of us). Everyone from CAP ended up placing which was pretty exciting - although it might have had something to do with the fact that their age brackets were pretty small...minor detail. Those of us who did not run in the race showed our support by making a big sign for all of them to cheer them on as they came in the end of the race. Or at least that was the plan. Have I mentioned before how incredibly tiny our town is? Well, apparently there is only one main street that goes through town; so when we tried to get to the end of the race, all of the roads were blocked. We eventually made it - about ten minutes after everyone had finished - and we were at least able to cheer them on as their placements were called and their trophies were presented. (Jenna, Jenny, Allen, Kim, and Kelly holding the sign we made for them)

For anyone who is a country music fan, John Michael Montgomery had a cd release party down the road from us, so a few people went to check that out while the rest of us stayed and played a little frisbee. We ended our evening by heading to Berea and wandering around for a few hours. In our meanderings we discovered the local roller skating rink, a fun playground that has this giant structure that none of us could figure out what to do with until a couple of six year olds ran up and started playing on it (although it still didn't make much sense - playgrounds are getting so high-tech these days!), and we learned how to play a traditional Appalachian game called "Skittles" (basically a game where you spin this top thing and it has to pass through all these chambers and knock down pins).

Weekend #5: We are slowly discovering in our house that we all plan things very differently...which sometimes means a little chaos in our planning. This weekend was one of those weekends. Saturday we all headed to Lexington to meet up with a bunch of volunteers from Jackson. Half of the group went to see some of the horse races (after all, we are in Kentucky) and the other half of us went to play frisbee golf. I know I have played before, but I officially decided this weekend that I am a terrible frisbee golfer. If I play again, I might just use a normal frisbee - it's a little easier to aim with. Luckily the point of playing had more to do with enjoyine one another's company and less to do with keeping score. Afterward we decided to check out another Lexington jewel - a Bible themed putt-putt golf course. We played the "Miracles" and "Old Testament" courses. Both were very amusing. If you can't imagine a little place like this, then picture a normal mini golf course; imagine it being filled with random kitschy things that are somewhat biblically themed. There was the "Parting of the Red Sea" which featured the parting of a stream (held up by plexiglass), or there was "Mt. Sinai," which looked like a volcano structure with the hole on the top of it (I eventually gave up trying to hit it up to the top and just dropped my ball in), or the "Seventh Day of Creation: Rest," which happened to be the section of the course that was designed so everyone could get a hole in one (so you could rest at this hole), but somehow I managed to need two hits. Sigh...

While most of yesterday was a pretty low key day, in the afternoon five of us set off for the "Pumpkin Festival" which was only down the road from us. If you haven't noticed yet, people in Kentucky are a little obsessed with their festivals; there is one for just about everything. The pumpkin festival was pretty small, but we still managed to have a lot of fun. I got to play "Corn Hole" for the first time - another Appalachian/Southern game - which is pretty similar to bean bag toss, except the bags are filled with corn, there is only one hole in the target, and you keep score a little differently. Apparently I have some mad corn hole skills because I got my bag o'corn in the hole quite a few times. We also attempted to learn how to lasso (on my first try I somehow managed to lasso myself; it made for an auspicious beginning and I never really got better...oh well). Despite being a small festival it made for a very enjoyable afternoon and was a great ending to a fun filled weekend. (Terri, Paul, Zaneta, Jenny, and I posing for our "family photo" at the pumpkin festival)

Okay, well hopefully I have convinced y'all that there are lots of fun things to do in Kentucky, especially when there are great people around to join you. Thanks for taking the time to read up on what I'm doing. I hope you all are doing well and enjoying the beautiful fall season!

Blessings.

"The Rock"

On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I head with another teacher, Sister Therese, to the local jail (nicknamed “The Rock” because we’re in Rockcastle County). From 12 to 1:30pm we sit in a windowless cell – a room that has only a picnic table bolted to the floor, a stack of lawn chairs, and a few exercise mats. On any given day we may have two to twelve students file in to our makeshift classroom.

“Diana” is one of these students. The first day that I went to the jail I started working with Diana. She is in her early forties and she has two daughters; one is about to turn twenty-two and the other is nine. I don’t know why she is in jail – to be honest, I’m not really sure how important it is to know – but she has about a year left right now until she goes up for parole.

Diana already has her GED, so she is working to earn her Kentucky Employability Certificate. This certification program is a statewide program meant to prove to employers that Kentuckians are employable. The test is composed of three sections: reading for information, applied mathematics, and locating information. By receiving this certificate, recipients have a greater chance of getting hired; in fact, there are quite a few employers who will automatically give you an interview just for having this certificate. A few weeks ago three of the ladies tested for the KEC; two of them passed and the other missed it in one section (she’s trying again this week as well). In celebration of the two who passed we threw them a little party one day after class. Therese talked to the guards and they allowed us to bring in some ice cream sandwiches and cupcakes for all of the ladies, which was quite a treat for them. We’ll have to get a little more creative in our celebrations if (hopefully when) the two testing this week pass their tests!

Next Wednesday Diana will take the math portion of her KEC test. I spent most of Tuesday afternoon working with her on proportions and cross-multiplication. I’ve worked with her on these before, but for some reason, on Tuesday it just clicked for her and suddenly it all made sense. She took some extra practice problems back to her cell that night and when she came back on Wednesday she was raving about how easy all those proportions were now. I’m not sure how many of you can relate to this experience – of having a student finally grasp a concept that they have been struggling with and seeing the light bulb come on – but let me just say that it is pretty exciting. And perhaps the best part is that I know I had very little to do with it; her brain just needed a little time to figure it all out, and it did!

The first day that I worked with Diana she told me a little bit about her learning history. School was always hard for her, especially reading, but she never really understood why. She didn’t find out until high school (I think) that she suffers from a form of dyslexia, although it was much later until she discovered a few tricks to help her cope with it. I don’t understand very much about dyslexia, but the way that she describes it is that when she is looking at a page with a lot of words she has trouble focusing enough to read because they are all jumping around so much. One trick that Diana has discovered is that if she lays a rose colored transparency over a page she is reading it helps calm down the chaos on that page. Using pink notebook paper has also helped her out. We’re not sure how she will react to the computer screen on Wednesday (for her test), but we’ll be sure to keep the rose transparency handy.

Working with Diana and the other ladies at the jail is one of the highlights of each week. Every time I walk in, I am reminded of all of the blessings I have in life: freedom, family, friends, education, hope for the future…unfortunately, these are all things that many of the women I work with lack. I can’t help but think, “There but for the grace of God go I.”

If it wasn’t for our cell or the fact that all of the ladies are wearing grays, I could probably forget that I was even in the jail. In all of my visits there I have never once felt that my safety was threatened and the ladies are so friendly sometimes it’s hard to remember that they are criminals. As in Diana’s case, I have yet to ask any of them what they are there for. From what I understand, however, it most likely had something to do with drugs; meth is a large problem in southern and eastern Kentucky.

I’ll close with another story about Diana. When I was working with her last week we finished going through most of the problems and she wanted to save the rest for practicing that night so we were chatting. Diana was asking me about whether or not I go to church in the area, so I told her about the various churches that I have visited since I’ve been here. She encouraged me to check out a church whose pastor comes in every Monday night and ministers to the women. She proceeded to tell me about how it through this pastor’s ministry that she has felt a call to turn her life around and to live for Christ. She even wants to serve in a prison ministry of some sort.

Working with the various populations that I do, I have been warned several times about being “taken in” by my students. I think everyone is a little worried that I’m too naïve or something – and I honestly appreciate their warnings because I know that I am probably naïve about many things. So I know that a lot may happen in the next year and that maybe Diana doesn’t really mean what she said about turning her life around – I completely understand this is a possibility – but I guess when it comes to things like this, I simply choose to hope. To hope that she really means it and that she understands how hard it may be; to hope that she really does know Christ and wants to use her life to glorify him.

If you ever think of them, please pray for the women in the Rock. Especially as winter is coming on and germs and viruses come on strong – if one of them gets sick, they pretty much all take a turn dealing with it – and they don’t always get medicine. Please pray for the two students who will be testing on Wednesday for their KEC’s. And please pray for all of their families – most of the women have children.

The peace of the Lord be with you all.

Monday, Monday...

If you are like me and you grew up on oldies (regardless of whether or not they were old or new when you were growing up) you will recognize the title and be singing along in your head "-can't trust that day..." But luckily for me, I just like the first part of the song and this is not a lament about how horrible Mondays are...

Today was quite a busy day and I just thought I would share how it went since there were a few new things that happened.

Things at work went pretty well, although we had an all day staff meeting, so nothing too exciting was going on. I started my professional development course that counts as my orientation to adult education in the state of Kentucky; I have three lessons down and seven to go. The head of CAP's wellness committee came and spoke to us about things how we can be proactive about our health, and because we participated we received vouchers for a free lunch at a local restaurant. The ironic part, however, was that the restaurant happened to be McDonalds. Personally, I don't see the connection between wellness and McDonalds, but hey, free lunch is free lunch. After lunch, I got schooled in our staff game of bean bag toss. Despite the tragic loss (although pretty much everyone sucked except Keith, who won), I rallied my spirits and took off to take my driving test with the infamous Mike Stanfill (my CPR instructor from last week).

We spent two hours in a big red truck and I had to relearn how to set my mirrors, relearn how to hold the steering wheel (apparently if you hold it at 10 and 2 if your airbag goes off your arms will break your face), and relearn how to use my turn signals. The driving wasn't too bad - it was still driving - but then came the parking tests. I had to back into a parking spot using his specific method and be within six inches of the curb/line three times. I did it the first two times really quickly but then I kind of psyched myself out a little, but I eventually got the third one. Front entrance parking went much faster. So the moral of the story is that I can now drive CAP vehicles - which is great, because now Paul doesn't have to wake up to drive me to work at 7am (he is very appreciative).

Today was also the first time that I made dinner and led devotions for our house. I made a casserole last night, so cooking wasn't too bad. And since the entire thing was finished, I think it turned out alright (although the tortillas got a little mushy...). For devotion I focused on the theme of confession. It has been something that I have been thinking about a lot lately; I've realized that I don't take time in my daily life to confess and I want that to change. I didn't go too in depth with anything since I wasn't sure how comfortable everyone would be with sharing, so I just kind of opened the time by reading Psalm 57 and then I played Samuel Barber's setting of the Agnus Dei just as a way to make space for personal reflection and confession. By the way, if you have never heard this song, you should really take the time to find a recording of it. The text, when translated, reads: Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us. This song has personally been a song of meditation and contemplation for years - I would often put on the album (Choral Moods) while studying and without fail, whenever Agnus Dei came on I had to stop what I was doing just to allow the music to flow over and through me. (As a side note: when I was sitting in the Atlanta airport trying to find the courage to sit out my lay-over and catch my last flight to Lexington I put this song on as a source of comfort and encouragement). Anyway, if you have a spare ten minutes and are somewhere where you can play this song loud enough that you can absorb its harmony, click the title of this post and you will be linked to a youtube version of this song.

All in all, today has been quite an eventful day. It's nice to be back and I'm excited about the rest of the week. We're getting a new housemate tonight; she has spent the last few days driving over from California, so it will be fun to have another west coaster around. I'm off to bed because I'm awful sleepy and I think I might be getting a little bit of a cold...we'll see...

Sweet dreams.

Orientation

The short story: orientation was a blast.

Which, to be perfectly honest, was kind of a surprise. Generally I don't really like retreats (probably because I'm an introvert and being with large groups of people 24/7 tends to be a little wearing - especially if they are groups of people that I don't know very well). In many ways I was expecting orientation to feel like PA Training/Retreat two years ago (which I hated and it was terribly awkward); but luckily it was on a totally different level.

Our orientation group was the largest group CAP has ever had (I think). There were twenty-six of us there, representing five different counties and a multitude of programs (housing, advocacy, adult ed, elderly services, and respite to name a few). Most of us are from different places too (i.e.: Colorado, Arizona, New Jersey, Kansas, Texas, and Connecticut). Despite all of our differences in background and placement it was great to come together and spend a week getting to know each other. I feel like I have made some new friends and am excited to get to know them more in the next year!

In our orientation we covered a wide variety of topics - some of which were interesting and some were…well, less interesting...We covered how Father Beiting had a vision to help the Appalachian people and CAP history a few times, which was interesting, but a tad boring. The majority of our first full two days, however, were taken up with First Aid/CPR training. Our instructor, Mike, was a very entertaining character. He pretty much had a story about everything. Not only is he a certified First Aid/CPR instructor, but he is also a volunteer emergency responder for accidents in caves and underground, a black belt, an avid skydiver, and he will also be my driving instructor for CAP's driving training (which I will have tomorrow afternoon). I think we probably could have finished our training in less than a day but he literally told us a story about some experience he had had in the field that somehow "related" back to whatever area we were covering in class (although, to be fair, it did our make our training a little more interesting). I thought about sharing a few interesting facts that I learned during my training, but on second thought I realized that the hilarity of some of our training scenarios might not be fully understood through my writing. You might have just needed to be there; for example - imagine a room with twenty-six adults tapping baby dolls, asking them if they are okay and waiting for a response.

Once we finished our First Aid/CPR training we got to sign away our lives to Americorps for the next year (I don't know if I have ever signed my name so many times in a two hour time period before). Now with the paperwork out of the way I am officially an Americorps volunteer and have the tee-shirt to prove it. Woohoo! We also went over ALL of the CAP volunteer guidelines - we seriously read (aloud) the entire handbook. I think my personal favorite was that we are not allowed to perform psychic or palm readings on our program participants (which I hadn't actually thought of doing with my students, but now I can't - sigh).

We also spent one afternoon with Father John and Sister Robbie, both of whom have spent many years in Appalachia working to help the people and to protect the land (I might have a follow-up post on their work sometime, I took about ten pages of notes during their discussion - yes, I know I am a nerd - so it might be a little long to go into it now). It was great to learn a little more background information on the Appalachian region; for instance, Appalachia covers thirteen states and about 400 counties, and of all the states, eastern Kentucky has the most distressed counties, 36 (West Virginia has the next highest amount with 16). We also had a presentation from a woman named Betsie on perceptions of poverty. She broke down a lot of the numbers and statistics relating to poverty in our area, while explaining a few cultural differences as well. One such explanation related to a local phenomenon - many people here might be living in poverty but they still have cable and a TV. This relates to what she called "the power of dignity," which basically relates to the fact that everyone wants to feel like they have worth. When we believe in consumerism and capitalism, owning items like a TV offers us a little bit of that "worth."

One aspect of orientation that definitely made me feel like I was in PA training again, was that we spent a large amount of time covering issues related to community living (i.e.: conflict resolution). While mostly a review, it was good to cover, especially since there has been a little bit of tension in our house recently (I don’t want to go into details, but I would appreciate any spare prayers you can offer!).

CAP’s volunteer program has three pillars: service, community, and spirituality. As aforesaid, community was the pillar most prevalent in our discussions; and because most of our time here is spent in service – and since we all serve in different ways – we didn’t spend a long time talking about service. We did, however, spend time discussing spirituality (which were some of my favorite times during the week). It was awesome to see how despite all of our differences and backgrounds (we’re all different varieties and persuasions of Protestants and Catholics) we could still come together to look at scripture, evaluate our lives, and worship God.Each morning we had some devotional time as a group, which was great. In one of our devotional times we split up into two large groups, those of us in the Cumberland Valley (which are the counties west of the mountains: Rockcastle, Jackson, and McCreary) and those in Sandy Valley (counties east of the mountains: Floyd and Johnson), to spend a little time sharing stories of moments or people who have had a great impact on our lives. This time was like getting a glimpse (whether big or small) of who these people are and why they are who they are today. Just knowing a part of their stories helped me appreciate each one of them more. It’s too bad we could not have spent the whole day sharing!

While the majority of our time was spent in meetings, don’t worry, we did have some chances for fun too. There were a couple of short hikes, one that just went around the woods surrounding Camp AJ (where we were staying) and another that took us to the top of a ridge where we just sat and watched the stars for a while. We also had a game night (where we discovered that some people are not very good at playing “Taboo”), some people went swimming in the lake, we had a bonfire and s’mores (and there were two people who had never had s’mores before!), and, of course, there were many great conversations with new friends throughout the week.

Orientation ended on Thursday afternoon with a commissioning ceremony. Everyone in the volunteer program was there as well as many of the other volunteers. Kim and Terri came to support the five of us from Rockcastle. Each program manager was also there. Jennifer, my manager, came and she was definitely the most excited person there! (Which was fun for Paul and I since she cheered extra loud for us). During the ceremony we all introduced ourselves, there were speakers who shared about each of the three pillars of the volunteer program, and we all pledged to serve the people of Appalachia. Before the service began, we had each been given a candle, so to close they had us all come forward and each of our managers lit our candles and the director of the volunteer department prayed for us. After the service was over, I felt like I was at a wedding; everyone came through and greeted us all in one giant reception line.

Orientation is now over and done, and tomorrow morning I head back to work at Adult Ed – which I’m excited about. The break was great, and I’m going to miss spending time with my new friends, but it will feel good to go back to work – which is what I came here to do. Tomorrow is also my driving test as well as my first night cooking and leading devotions for my house.

I want to give a special thanks to my mom and to my dad. I got your packages. Thanks!!! If anyone else feel the need or desire to send me mail, I’ll be really excited…

I hope everyone is doing well. Good luck to everyone at SPU; I know tomorrow is the first day of classes. Have fun!

Blessings.

PS: I included a picture from orientation (thank you Bobby Jones for putting pictures up on facebook!). I think my candle is the one that is furthest to the left, not the big one, but the little one (although you can’t see me).

Off to Orientation

I am about to take off for four days of Orientation, which will be in Jackson County (about an hour away). I don't think I will have access to the internet, so I will not be posting anything else until after I get back. I meant to try and post a little more this weekend about what life is like here, but I ended up being gone all day yesterday at the Spoonbread Festival and visiting other volunteers. So the plan is to write a few successive posts when I return later this week.

I hope you all are doing well and enjoying fall. I hear that the Northwest has had some pretty amazing weather.

Blessings.

There's No Place Like Home

Last night at around 2 am marked my one-week anniversary in the Rockcastle Volunteer House. Which is kind of crazy to think about. Oddly enough, being here already feels very natural. There are still plenty of things I have to learn, both about work and about my house, but I feel like I have a place and like I belong here.

A lot of the reason I feel fairly comfortable already is because of the amazing housemates that I have. Currently there are eight of us here, but within a few weeks we'll have ten (by gaining three and losing one). Right now there are seven women and one guy - which is a little odd, but Paul doesn't seem to mind since he gets spoiled rotten. Helen has been here the longest (I think this is her third year here) and she works in the substance abuse recovery program known as Healing Rain. She is older, but has plenty of spunk. Last night she was outside watering plants in the dark and she stuck her head in the kitchen window and just about made Jenny, who was across the kitchen looking out, scream (which was quite amusing). Jenny works in Family Advocacy - which means when families are in need of some sort of assistance (be it monetary or physical) they will often come to her office for help. She is from Tennessee and is probably the most gullible person in the house - at least Paul teases her a lot. Paul splits his time between Adult Ed and Family Counseling; so two days out of the week we work together. And until I get my CAP driving privileges he has the lovely job of being my chauffeur. He is from New York and probably makes the best chai tea I've ever had (he is on par with Cedars' chai). Sharyn is also older and she works at the Spousal Abuse Shelter. Unfortunately she works mainly night shifts, so I rarely see her because of our opposite schedules, but she did live in Portland before moving out here, so it is nice to have another person from the Northwest around. Terri works in the Spousal Abuse Shelter too. She graduated from Berea College (which is in the next town over) but is originally from Maryland. She has already completed a year with CAP and will be leaving in October to prepare for moving to Africa in March. Kim just graduated with a teaching degree in high school English from Colorado University, so I'm looking forward to some good "English" discussions. She works in the Child Development Center and is also our house's "Social Coordinator" (although I'm still not exactly sure what that means...). Zaneta, who is the only person newer than me right now (she came last Wednesday), is also working in Child Development. She is a short term volunteer, so she is taking a semester off from school in New York to volunteer. Although she is a film studies major, she has taken a few women's studies courses, so we have had a few fun conversations.

Mondays through Thursdays we have community dinners that are followed by devotions. We take turns cooking, and whoever cooks also leads the devotion for the night (my first turn is on September 29th). Pretty much everything is communal. We have a food budget each week from CAP, so we take turns grocery shopping and unless something is labeled, it's fair game. The kitchen still feels a little overwhelming, but I am slowly learning where things are (it helps that there are labels for most things), although I have yet to really understand the fridge system (we have three). And I've never actually opened the freezer.

Right now we each have our own room, but in the next few weeks a few people will end up sharing; I, however, am not one of those people - which is nice. We have three bathrooms, ten bedrooms, a utility room, a kitchen, a dining room, a computer room, a living room, and a "library" (it's just off of the living room). And all of it on one floor - it's just spread out. (If you want to see an outside picture, click the title above)

I still haven't really seen too much of Mt. Vernon. I've driven through town a few times, but I've yet to get out and really walk around and see what is here. Technically, where I live is just outside of the Renfro Valley area. Just down the hill from us there is a touristy old-time set of shops that are supposed to be fun to see. There is also the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame (although I don't actually know what is in there). Supposedly there are also country music concerts every week at one or both of the barns down in that area. There is a lake on the other side of one of the hills from our house (I didn't know it was there until someone mentioned there was a lake on the other side of the hill, which is funny because it's a pretty big lake).

I have a nice commute to work (aside from the fact that I get chauffered everywhere) because it is less than five minutes away up the hill. Unfortunately, the road is well travelled and there isn't a shoulder, so walking to work is not a very good option.

Like I said, it is almost crazy to think that I have only been here for a week because I am feeling very at home already. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for my adjustment! You're prayers are working!

It was great because this weekend I received my first mail here! I got two packages and a letter. My housemates were a little jealous, but they didn't seem to mind so much when I shared the cookies I had received (thanks Hayley! You're amazing!). While I was opening the first package, Paul tactfully informed me of a house rule (which I think he made up) which states that if brownies are sent in the mail they must be shared; apparently cookies are optional - but I shared anyway. My other package was a Chocolate Lover's cookbook from Gary and Margy (which my housemates also got to enjoy last night when I made Chocolate Meringue cookies). So thanks to Katie (for the letter), Hayley, Gary, and Margy for the mail. You certainly brightened my first weekend here! (This is also meant to serve as a hint to any and all of you who like to send mail, and to all those of you who can be guilt-tripped into sending me mail...)

As much as I am enjoying my time here, it is still a little weird to be so far from home. If any of you can, please invent a transporter (maybe the creators of Star Trek will share their designs with you) so I can come visit you all more often. I have a feeling that as time goes on, and the novelty of being somewhere new wears off a little, I am going to get more homesick. So please feel free to pray for that. I miss you all and hope that you are doing well!!!

Blessings.

The Arrival

If it wasn't official before, it is official now. I HATE flying. In some ways I seriously wish that we could go back to horse drawn buggies. I know I should probably be a little more thankful for the advances in technology that I benefit daily from (like the computer I'm typing on or the internet that connects me to the rest of the world), but my trip out to Kentucky made me a little bitter about it.

Don't worry - I made it here safely. But something went wrong on every single one of my flights (and I had three!). My first leg was to Phoenix and we had to land in Vegas due to storms, which meant I missed my flight to Cincinnati (at this point I also decided that I hate Phoenix too), which meant that they had to switch my ticket to fly through Atlanta and then on to Lexington. Unfortunately there were storms in Atlanta too, so we sat on the tarmac for forty minutes before they even let us get off the plane. And after getting off of the plane I found out that my flight to Lexington was delayed by an hour - putting me in there around midnight. When I finally made it to Lexington I was surprised (and blessed) to find that all of my luggage had arrived, even with all of the transfers. One of my housemates, Paul (who is also working in Adult Ed), was there to greet me and drive me back to Mt. Vernon (we arrived around 2 am - yikes!).

Despite all of the problems that arose throughout my day, I am fully aware that it could have been a lot worse (i.e. - my bags could have been lost, I could have had to sleep in the airport somewhere, etc...). One of the blessings of the day was that I had a good book along with me. Before leaving Seattle I bought a copy of Auralia's Colors by Jeff Overstreet. I heard him speak last year at the Day of Common Learning (an annual event at SPU where a guest speaker comes and we all focus on one topic for the day and attend different sessions that are related; last year's theme was hope) about hope and truth in fantasy and fiction and I really appreciated what he had to say, so I've been wanting to read his book for the last year. And now I am. It is a beautiful story and really fun - a good combination on a really long day of travelling. In the story, Auralia, through her weaving, has the gift of bringing out colors in a land where colors are outlawed. In his telling of the tale, Overstreet does a great job weaving all the characters and events together throughout the novel. As I have read I have thought a lot about all of the beauty that I daily take advantage of without taking the time to really stop and take it all in. I can't imagine living in a world where wearing color is considered a crime of treason. Back in the northwest, and even here in Kentucky, I was/am surrounded by lush natural beauty and yet I rarely take time to really explore and enjoy it; I suppose I could take this as a challenge.

Other than that I am settling in pretty well. I like my housemates a lot and am enjoying the time I get to spend with them; work is also going well - everyday I am learning a little bit more and feeling a little more comfortable as I put myself out there to work with students. Today I will attend my first all-volunteer meeting and will get to "meet" everyone else. Afterward a bunch of are going hiking and camping tonight. I don't know exactly where we are going, but I know our meeting is somewhere near Natural Bridge, Kentucky (wherever that is). I will try to write a more detailed update this weekend sometime! But for now, know that I am safe and doing well. As I told Bekah and Gavin, I haven't even cried yet (which is good, since I had half expected to hate it); and as Gavin told me, I have to take victories where I can.

Thank you for your prayers!

One Day More

Well, in a little less than eight hours I will be taking off for the first leg of my trip to Mt. Vernon, Kentucky. I leave at 7am from Portland and will arrive in Lexington around 8:30pm (with stops in Phoenix and Cincinnati), so hopefully I'll be at my new home by 10 o'clock tomorrow night.

As the time to leave approaches I find myself getting more and more anxious...my stomach is a little jumpy and I've been crying a lot more the last few days. There is so much that I am leaving behind as I journey into the unknown before me. I've been doing a lot of "lasts" (or at least temporary lasts) the last few weeks. Before I left Seattle I went to Chocolati for the "last" time, walked Green Lake for the "last" time, saw friends for the "last" time, went to the cemetery for the "last" time. This week has been full of "lasts" in Portland - hiking in the Gorge, watching the sunset around Mt. Hood, going to Powell's, watching football with my dad, watching movies with my mom, and saying goodbye to friends down here.

I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I'm feeling a little (or a lot) overwhelmed. I hate goodbyes and I don't like change. So if you have a chance I would appreciate any and all prayer you can offer for me this week. A few specific things: for my travel tomorrow (I hate flying), for meeting my housemates and co-workers, for starting training in my new position, and for continued peace as I adjust to a new situation and lifestyle.

Despite all of my apprehension, I have been very blessed the last few weeks by all the encouragement I have received from so many of you! I think I would have chickened out if not for all of the love and support that has been offered.

Anyway, it is getting late and I need to be up in about four hours to finish the last few things and head to the airport - although don't worry, my bags are packed and they should both be under the 50 pound limit (now all we have to do is hope that they don't get lost in transit!). I have had a line from Les Miserables running through my head today that I think is a fitting way to end this post as I prepare to take off on this adventure:

"Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in heaven has in store; one more dawn, one more day; one day more."

For now,
Blessings.

One Chapter Closed...

It's official: I have said goodbye to the city I have called my home for the last four years. I can't decide if it is good or bad that this doesn't feel real - none of the last two weeks have felt real. Seattle has been my home in a way that no other place ever has been - it has been the scenes of my greatest joy and my greatest sorrow. I have made, loved, and kept many dear friends in that city - friends who have seen me through many dark days, shown me love, and who have always reminded me to laugh. I have been so blessed to know all of you.

As much as I will miss Seattle, and all those within its limits whom I love dearly, I know that the time has come for my path to take a new direction.

For those who maybe haven't heard the backstory, my journey to Kentucky started almost a year ago with a purchase of a little book from Amazon for my English Capstone class. The book: Delaying the Real World (although looking back the title is a misnomer - moving to Kentucky is not delaying anything; I am now facing the world before me). In the chapter titled "Why Not Change the World?" on page 171, I ran across a brief paragraph introducing the Christian Appalachian Project. I might never have thought more about CAP if it hadn't been for Dr. Thorpe, my capstone professor. In a meeting with him he encouraged me to think beyond Seattle and just "getting a job" to see if there was anything more that caught my fancy. Perhaps it was because of the randomness of it all that I remembered CAP when he asked if anything in the book had stuck out to me, and upon his suggestion I did a little bit more research. I remember that around this same time I mentioned the program to my sister, Bekah, and how I could move to Kentucky and volunteer and be like that old "Christy" movie we saw when we were little - believe me, when I threw out the possibility I meant it as a joke and would not have believed that I, of all people, would be moving to Kentucky to volunteer after graduating from SPU. By Thanksgiving I told my family that I was looking at program in Kentucky; by Christmas I had requested an application (another suggestion from Dr. Thorpe). Of course because I am such a procrastinator it took me until April to finish that application and mail it in, but by June I was out there visiting and interviewing. And now it is September 2, and in less than a week I will be in Kentucky.

My assignment is to Rockcastle County, working with Adult Education. This means that I will be tutoring adults and helping them prepare for their GEDs. Frankly, this terrifies me. I am only twenty-two years old (even though I am often mistaken for being sixteen) and the thought of trying to tell someone older than me how to do something makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide. Nevertheless, this is the area that I feel called to serve in. As I prepare to step into this new role I know that I will have a lot to learn and that I may fail miserably; but I am hopeful that I will learn quickly and grow into this new position, that I will not be dominated by my fears, and that I will serve with humility and love as I offer what I can to the people of Appalachia.

Despite all of my fears surrounding this step into the unknown I have been blessed with peace about my decision. I know that I am making the right decision - as much as I doubt myself and my capabilities, I do not doubt that the road before me is leading to Appalachia. After interviewing in June, I knew that I had been accepted to the Adult Ed and the Housing programs at CAP, but I didn't know which one to pick. Housing sounded like the most fun, and while Adult Ed was appealing, I also knew it would be the harder option of the two. So, being the good procrastinator that I am, I put off making a decision until about mid-August (I know it's a little ridiculous). On the day that I called CAP to accept a position in Adult Ed I was freaking out about committing to a program that I wasn't sure I could actually help anyone in. After getting a pep talk from my sister, I called, left them a message saying I was coming (lucky for me they were out of the office), and then called Bekah right back. I was in shock that I had actually just said yes to a program that terrified me and as I sat in the loop I was lamenting that I could not be like the little daycare kids who were walking by at that moment, all holding onto the rope that kept them and their leaders together (I'm sure most of you SPUers know what I am talking about). "I want a rope! I want to be led! I don't want to go alone!" was pretty much what I said at the time. It didn't hit me until later (when I had calmed down a little) that I already had all these things as I remembered a passage from one of my favorite books. In George MacDonald's The Princess and the Goblin, Princess Irene is given a gift of spun spider-web thread from her great-great-great-great-grandmother. This thread (which is too fine to be seen) is tied to a ring, and Irene is told that if ever she is afraid or in danger all she must do is remove the ring and follow the thread wherever it leads.
"'Oh, how delightful! It will lead me to you, grandmother, I know!'
'Yes. But, remember, it may seem to you a very roundabout way indeed, and you must not doubt the thread. Of one thing you may be sure, that while you hold it, I hold it too.'" (119)
When Irene later follows this advice she is led on the greatest adventure of her life because she had the faith to believe that her grandmother would not lead her into danger.

Looking at the road before me I see that there could be many chances for failure and hardship, but also chances for adventure, joy, and love. It is comforting to know that I do not go forward alone, and although I do not know where this thread will lead me I am trusting that my "grandmother" will be holding the thread as she directs my footsteps.

And so, here I am: terrified and about to take the next step in this adventure...

Blessings.